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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

‘Me’ Time: Yes, you can! By S. E. Smith


‘Me’ Time: Yes, you can!

       By S. E. Smith


Have you ever felt guilty about taking ‘me’ time? I’m sure the majority of us have at one time or another. One thing I’ve learned, or should I say I’m still learning, is that it is important to have balance in your life. I have always been a bit - okay, a lot - of a workaholic and for most of my life I have felt guilty when taking the time to do something just for me. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done so I tend to push ‘me’ onto the back burner – well, no more.
Life is a combination of balances and it is easy to forget that balance when family, work and life get in the way. For years my husband has pushed me to find this ‘equilibrium’ where I have time for myself. He has told me for years that it is just as important to take the time to play. Life is, after all, about the journey you take and the relationships you develop along the way. It was his concern, and a period of feeling very rebellious, that changed my attitude.

He suggested I needed a hobby, something I enjoyed doing that would help reduce my stress and give me pleasure and fulfillment. He expected it to be painting as that is something I have always enjoyed doing. While I am not great at it, I do find it soothing. Still, I felt like I didn’t have the energy to drag all my paints and canvases out. I wanted something more. I wanted to escape into another world where I could go on an adventure, feel young and excited again and explore new worlds.


                  Lily’s Cowboys: Heaven Sent Book 1 was the first book I wrote and published.
She received a Night Owl Review Top Pick 5/5 stars.


So, I continued to read every day, all day to escape from the world around me. The problem was I soon found it more and more difficult to find the kind of books with the type of heroes and heroines that I wanted to read about. So the reading changed to writing, which soon changed to sharing. You would think ‘Great, she now has a hobby’ but I know my personality. If I am not careful, I will lose the balance I am so desperately trying to achieve.

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m one of those all or nothing types. I give it my all or it isn’t worth doing. While that is not a bad personality, it is one that leaves the scales flopping back and forth like a fish out of water. So cognizant of my strengths and weaknesses, I am issuing a challenge to myself to find some ‘me’ time each day without feeling a trace of guilt about it. Whether it is just enjoying a hot shower, reading my favorite book, taking a nap, enjoying taking pictures, or even better, writing my little heart out, I am standing up and taking it. So there, life! I am woman, hear me ROAR! ‘Me, myself and I’ are taking time to stop and enjoy life without a moment of guilt. So thank you, honey, for fixing dinner so you know I will eat, finishing up the clothes and working on the flower beds all by yourself. I’ll try to tip the scale back up once I’m finished with my next story..

Want to know what type of personality you have? Try a few of these for fun.

 

My Personality…. I took this after writing the above. Boy, did I hit the nail on the head! What about you?

The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and has an unusual set of traits. Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons.

INFJ personalities are drawn toward helping those in need: they may rush to the place of a major disaster, participate in rescue efforts, do charity work, etc. INFJs see this as their duty and their purpose in life. People with this personality type firmly believe that nothing else would help the world as much as getting rid of all the tyrants (though preferably in a non-violent way). Karma and similar concepts are very attractive to INFJs.

These tendencies are also strengthened by the fact that INFJ personalities have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness. This means that their creativity and imagination can be directed toward a specific goal. Few other personality types have this trait, and this is one of the most important reasons why many INFJs are able to eventually realize their dreams and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs are masters of written communication, with a distinctively smooth and warm language. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually a very sociable person.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King

INFJs should be careful to avoid “overheating” as their zeal and determination can sometimes get out of hand. As Introverts (I), INFJs need to have some “alone time” every once in a while; otherwise their internal energy reserves will get depleted really quickly. If this happens, the INFJ may surprise everybody around them by withdrawing from all their activities for a while, and since other people usually see INFJs as always friendly and sociable, this can leave them both surprised and concerned.

INFJs take great care of other people’s feelings and expect others to return the favor. Unsurprisingly, people with this personality type are very sensitive and vulnerable to conflicts. Even the most rational INFJs may find it quite difficult to not take criticism personally—this is the INFJ’s Achilles’ heel. If someone with an INFJ personality cannot escape the conflict, they will do their best to deal with it head on, but this will result in a lot of stress and may also potentially lead to health problems or highly irrational behavior.
So what does all this mean for me as writer? Remember above when it said “very sensitive and vulnerable to conflicts” and “Even the most rational INFJs may find it quite difficult to not take criticism personally”. This is me whenever I release a new book. I am always excited and scared and fears and doubts arise. What is important to me is to acknowledge that not everyone will like my books and that is OK. I need to continue to take time out for me, especially after the release of a new book as this helps me recharge and keep my perspective. I’ve learned a little perspective never hurt anyone! LOL.
 
So what am I currently working on? Check out my web site, FB, Twitter and more tomorrow as I make a BIG announcement as to what is coming up next. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Are you feeling like you need a quick read with a lot of laughter?

A Dragonlings’ Easter is still #1 on Amazon!

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:




 


S. E. Smith is a USA Today and #1 International Best Selling author with 24 Best Selling books to date. She enjoys taking wildlife photos and sharing them as well as painting and traveling. Fans can reach her at SESmithFL@gmail.com or visit her web site at: http://sesmithfl.com. Join her for additional information about the books at http://pinterest.com/sesmithfl/s-e-smith/, http://twitter.com/sesmithfl, http://facebook.com/se.smith.5 and at her new book discussion forum at http://www.sesmithromance.com

 

 

1 comments:

Jessica Hale(Parsons) said...

i got INFJ type too lol
It can be very hard to balance everything and some days, weeks or months the baalance can get tipped before it is balanced out again, everyone is different, even if some people have things in common there are still other things that make them unqiue.
To relax and de-stress i do alot of different things depending on my mood and how run down i am

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